As we celebrate Mothers this weekend, I want to shine a light on special needs mothers and our journey to take care of our special miracles. My daughter Adah is 22 years old and has Cerebral Palsy, uses a wheelchair, is visually impaired, has limited speech, has seizures and needs 24/7 care. Mothers of special needs children are often exhausted & overwhelmed dealing with challenging situations, but we are also extremely capable & resilient. We are a unique breed. We give medical care every day. We face battles every single day to care for our children. We miss out on nights outs and get-togethers because we cannot leave our children. We feel guilty whenever we get a chance to do something or spoil ourselves. We know we deserve to take care of ourselves too, but we don’t always get the opportunity. Us special needs mothers are like a lioness – displaying a powerful balance between fierceness and compassion, investing energy and strength to protect her child at all costs. We have to get up, put on a straight face and smile no matter how much it hurts on the inside, just being strong for our children.
I am Adah’s Nurse, Doctor, Physio, wheelchair expert, feeder, interpreter, PA and general dogs’ body! I have to dig for depts of strength I could only every dream of. I have to make sure that Adah is not invisible, not forgotten about, not overlooked, that she can be part of her community and that she can reach her potential. I have to shout really loud at times to be heard, to be understood as to what is needed. I have to relentlessly push forward to, to do everything in my power to give her the best possible. I push to keep her alive, to give her opportunities. makes her life easier, more comfortable. I have to question everything with the health professionals, and care providers. I lose sleep when her needs are not made or when she is forgotten about. I cry when I have to face another battle – but those battles like all-Irelands are always worthwhile.
Us moms are always battle ready – I don’t think that there is a full back in the country would take us on! But I’m also Adah’s mammy and her brother Cillian’s mammy. I am Adah’s advocate – I am her voice. Often, I am the voice for other families who may not have the energy to shout.
A Privileged Position
I have the privilege of having the strength and the ability to keep going, to ensure that Adah reaches milestones in her own way. I have the privilege of Adah bossing me! I have the privilege of her smile. I have the privilege of Adah as part of our family.
Shattered Hopes!
Over the years I hoped that Adah would breathe would survive, would be “normal”, would walk would talk, would sleep, would wake up. I hoped Adah would not need a wheelchair, that she would get one when needed. I hoped that her seizure would stop and for the ambulance to come. For Adah’s pain to stop and for the medicine to work. I hoped for someone to understand, to listen, to respect my child and to see our daily struggles. I hoped for a night’s sleep and for things to get better.
A mother’s Hopes
As a mother hope is all about imagining and reaching for a better future, it is not an optimism that everything will work out. Hope is a feeling and a mindset to work at, to achieve goals in life despite tough circumstances. As a mother I have to have hope when faced with difficulty and uncertainty. Hope means I relentlessly pushed forward to do everything in my power to give Adah the best. For Adah progress was small, measurements of improvements were often in millimetres. Her spine stayed straight -She never got worse or regressed. She continues to amaze me every day.
Hope provided by the Clare Crusaders
I am lucky to have the Clare Crusaders Clinic on my doorstep providing therapy and support to Adah and the children across Clare. Often no one gives our miracle children a chance to succeed. But in the Clare Crusaders Community everyone understands, no explanation needed; Help is always on hand for us. Our children get physio, speech, occupational therapy and so much more! All Irelands are won every day! The orange jerseys with our children’s names on the back are worn with pride across the world and are just as important as the saffron and blue in this county.
Adah has now reached adulthood, and her health is mostly good. She enjoys life, loves music, going to hurling matches and walks in Lahinch! She is the boss in our house! I am honoured to be a mother and privileged to be a special needs mother. Happy Mother’s Day!
Ann Enright, Quin
Clare Champion Article Friday 28th of March 2025